Not My Thing...

So while we’ve been on the topic of school…let’s talk about college. It is true, I don’t have a college degree. Although I know they can be useful, I also know that they are not for everyone. Just like the color yellow isn’t for everyone. Can it be helpful? Yeah, I’d say so. For some reason, a good amount of employers look for employees that hold a degree regardless of the major. To me, that seems a bit ridiculous. But the requirement of having a degree isn’t the end-all be-all. There are ways to get around that situation. Then there are some jobs that I believe one should be required to have a degree in. How can we build a box when not everyone would fit inside?

Give It A Go

Growing up, I thought going to college was the coolest thing, and I couldn’t wait until it was time to set up my dorm room (much like I couldn't wait for braces until the real things were glued on). Then, when high school hit and S.A.T.s were before me, and the ominous question of “where are you going to go?” loomed over my head, I began to exit the mythical college land I dreamed up. Reality kicked in and the observation was made that college was much more than a well-designed dorm, friends, and fun activities. Unlike most majors, I didn’t have that overwhelming number of school options looming over me. There are a very limited number of Christian schools that offer dance as a major, not just a minor. I was down to two options, Oklahoma or Indiana. I auditioned for both, stayed the night at both, ate at both (a very important part of any college tour), and I attended chapel at both. I ended up choosing the school in Oklahoma. However, I went back and forth with my parents on whether or not I even wanted to go to college in the first place. The major that I had chosen didn't necessarily need a degree. I was not a fan of school. I thought I wasn’t smart ( this was before putting a finger on the fact that I might be dyslexic, A Funny Little Fact...), and ultimately just didn’t want to go. Yet, at the same time, I didn’t know where to go or what to do. It was a bridge into adulthood and I wanted that freedom. So after high school, the decision was made that before I went to University, I’d take a gap year and get a few prereqs out of the way. An amazing decision that allowed my parents and myself to settle on the conclusion that I would go to University. We decided that I would give it a year to try and see if I liked it or if I should try a different direction. I am very fortunate and blessed with such supportive parents.

The College Days

Once move-in day arrived, a touch of excitement loomed over me, but I still cried. Then the stress of classes, trying to make friends, and balancing my schedule kicked in. My first exam, I’ll be honest, I flunked it. But not from the lack of trying! Weeks went by, friendships began to form; I had a few friends offer to help me study, and my schedule became my routine. Yet, for some reason life never felt settled. I felt like I was in limbo waiting for life to become fun and enjoyable, not just waking up saying “well, here we go again.” I never felt connected to anything; I didn’t feel as though I was learning. I felt as though I was only going crazy trying with little result; living for the weekends. Truly my community was what got me through. I finished my first year, a true feat. The summer following that first year was probably my favorite summer, so trying to gear myself up to head back to school took a lot of self-prodding. I drove back to school - from Colorado to Oklahoma. Not an excessively long drive, but before I set out, I for the life of me could not hold back my tears. I was almost ball-crying, hugging my parents, and getting into my car. My mom leaned over to me to give me one last hug and I told her I wasn’t sure why I was so upset. She said to me “going to school should not be this hard.” And she was right, but I thought that I needed to give it more of a fair shot than only one year. So I drove. That night as I sat with all of my things in my dorm (bless the Lord He gave me a room without a roommate that semester!) I Facetimed my sister, and for about thirty minutes I sobbed. I couldn’t say anything and she didn’t have an opening to say anything. It was a long night. The first week back in classes I realized I wasn't happy in my department, so I made the choice to switch my major. That settled me a little, but I still wasn’t happy. I was crying more often than I would like to admit, and even my friends could see how depressed I was. I hid myself in my room, having to force myself to go out. So I prayed asking God what my next steps should be. Do I stay, do I transfer schools, or do I leave? And as soon as I decided to leave, I felt an amazing sense of peace.

Not For Everyone

Back to my parents. Neither of them have a degree; my dad tried, it wasn't for him either, and my mom couldn’t afford it at the time. And, although neither carry a degree, they built themselves amazing lives. My dad started six companies from the ground up and co-founded two others. My mom was highly respected in every job she worked, became the manager at several, and then chose to homeschool 4 children all the way through high school. We are not all built the same, and not every person's life is created for the cookie cutter that we think we should all fit in. My oldest brother had the most roundabout way of receiving his degree. My sister took on college as a personal challenge, and even lived in Honduras for a semester while working on her degree online. My other brother had the most traditional college experience, and we now all know my story. I thought I needed to follow the normal expected path, but I am not normal…none of us are. We all live, as I have said time and time again, unique and individual lives. If one knew that they wanted to go into a specific field that required an undergrad and most likely a masters… they should go for it! That is their path. But, why would we shame another who can and is willing to take on the world for its experiences. We don’t all respond the same to a standardized test. It always makes me laugh a little when people go through all of college and take on a job or career that is in a different field from what they studied.

Ambition

I think college is a great place if one is unsure what their next step is. It can open a door to propel themselves into a direction whether they finish the four years or not. A person needs a drive, purpose, and ambition in life. We can’t allow ourselves to become lazy and complacent by telling ourselves that college isn’t for us, and using it as a cop-out. What I am saying is that going to college shouldn’t be looked at as a right or wrong thing. It should be looked at as another option on a shelf. Like shopping at a grocery store. Do I want an internship? Or, try my hand at school? Do I want a masters or to go further? Do I want to work? Do I want to explore, or even as perfectly normal as - I need to work. College is no longer a necessity in our society like it once was. Some people love their college experience and find it an amazing propeller forward where others might find it as a waste of time and money. We should want to be self-aware and self motivated to find which option is the best for us, and leave all the outside opinions - outside.

This is a continuation of my last post diving into my homeschooled life. I am passionate about this topic because I receive a lot of opinions from both sides of the spectrum, and find it interesting - to feel like, “I am throwing my life away,” or feeling like, “I should be patting myself on the back,” because college isn’t for everyone. I think having a degree - or not - are both respectable. Anyway, I hope you have been having a great week. Make sure you join the Allie-cat fam by subscribing. And be sure you follow @theallie.way on Instagram and please share it/this with someone. Thanks for reading Allie-cats.

• Dru Allie