This is a big week. This is anniversary week for The Allie-Way. The 6th of March makes two years of posts. This might not seem like something that would affect you, however, you could not be further from the truth. Well maybe you could be a little further, but nonetheless, you all play a monumental role in this blog. My journey back in 2022 was to write inspirational stories from my life about things that I am/have walked through to help inspire others: to feel less alone, to bring hope, to share God’s grace and love, to share joy, and bring understanding to things that sometimes we feel but don’t know how to describe. That was my mission. Coming out of the gate with my story of depression. But, when I started, my passion was to write because that is something that I feel inspired to do. I hoped others would feel that and follow along, but I simply wanted to, at least, do it for myself. To hear the encouraging things that people would share about how a post touched them or that it was the perfect thing they needed to read that week, lit a fire in me on days that I felt like not posting. To see the number of readers creep up beyond what I expected caused me to feel so much gratitude and humility. And, for me, I can’t fully express all that this journey has done for me by being forthcoming with topics that have been deemed private. I watched my battle with depression from when I started to now and see the growth and the hand of God’s acute timing. I see areas in my life that I used to think were unchangeable be flipped around like a Rubix cube. This reminds me that so often we forget to see people's journeys. Instead, we simply focus on their “out of the woods" moments.
Looking At The Whole Picture
I don’t think I have made it. I believe I have much more to give and go. How much more… I can’t say. But, I do know that it can be easy to look at someone's life, and where they are now, and reflect on ours knowing we aren’t where they are or where we want to be. I find myself falling into this trap constantly. I see people my age falling in step with their perfect job and life that, from the outside looking in, looks immaculate. But, I forget that there is a path that they had to carve out. That they had to put in the work to get there and I can’t simply see, want, then have. Frustrating, but true. I often compare myself to my sister's life and where she is at now, judging myself harshly for not coming up in tandem; forgetting that I am jumping ahead a few seasons. Although we live life side by side, we are not in step with one another. We forget or neglect to look and see the journey and struggles that everyone walks through to find their way or how they discovered, a little more clearly, what they are inspired to do. Sometimes it is easy to gloss over and not see because no one broadcasts the blood, sweat, and tears the same way we share our medals. Beyond that, if we do follow along on someone's story we watch them grow as a sibling watches the other grow. It’s a slow steady process where we forget the hard times but simply see the growth. Or, someone joins the group and misses their “childhood” altogether and is left with the already evolved but ever-evolving success, missing the first step.
One Foot In Front Of The Other
With every journey, it starts with a step. Sometimes that step has no pressure behind it and others feel like stepping off into a black hole. But, without that first one, we have no hope of seeing where it will take us. All it takes is one step to start. We often sabotage ourselves by infusing our thoughts with excuses and negative possibilities. The fear of failure or embarrassment is no small emotion. Although, they are so much smaller compared to the possibilities and lessons that are guaranteed to arise. It only takes one step forward to start, then we have the choice to take another to continue. If a goal is wanting to become stronger, the step would be to go to a gym, then taking a second step of going again. If a goal is to lean towards a job or an opportunity, the step would be applying and the second would be mentally allowing ourselves to believe in what we have to offer. Or, for me, I wanted to share topics that others shy away from and that meant to stop my excuses and begin writing as my first step, then step again by writing and posting the next one. Not every stride needs to be a momentous moment. Oftentimes our footprints don’t line up between the shuffles of little moments or the gaps of us leaping when necessary. Life is blindly walking forward, we might feel like one path is safer than the other but, no matter which direction we take, we are always left choosing one unknown over the other. Are we going toward something where we think we won't find ourselves hurt, but missing out on trusting ourselves and God’s hand on our life? Or, are we being courageous, allowing the need for change to overcome us to where we take the hike that’s a little more strenuous and less occupied, and finally stop waiting for life to come to us? “A year from now you may wish you had started today.” - Karen Lamb
Life Right Now
A big change that I had to continually talk over with myself was to stop looking at other people's lives and waiting for mine to finally look like those who seem like they have it all together. I needed to stop waiting for my life to come to me, feeling that I was being short-changed. My life has already started. It started the moment God began creating me in my mom's womb. It is up to me if I am living it. Do I know what I want to do with my life… nope. Is that ok? Absolutely. But, it also takes me stepping out to search for it because it won’t walk up to me and introduce itself no matter how much I wish it would. Do I know who I am… does anyone really? Some people have simply been at the game longer or been given different situations and resources to help them jump a few levels to be more content, accepting, and down the road of identifying their passions. But, they still had to make the steps to get there even if we are a few chapters behind. We were designed for: here, now, our families, journeys, quirks, looks, and giftings. I’ve said it many times before and I’ll continue to say it. We are created to be one of a kind. My story might have similarities to others, but we will never live identical lives. This is why when we compare lives we will never be satisfied. We need to stop looking over at someone else's desk for the answers and start walking forward taking that mysterious journey. Because there is so much reward in stepping out in faith.
Into The Unknown
Did I think I would still be doing this when I started, I had no clue. Was I scared to share my vulnerable side? 100%. Who wouldn’t be nervous to allow people into thoughts that make you feel weak? But, for me, the reward was worth the risk. Not only has writing these posts helped me astronomically grow mentally and to feel comfortable in the lessons that I have gone/go through, but it has helped me grow in my outlet of writing. Each post has become a journal for me, encouraging me to zoom out and see my life and situations from a different perspective. This milestone has shown me that we so often don’t celebrate the journey; only finding our identity in the success. But, if these two years have taught me anything, there is so much beauty in the beginnings, so much growth in the loss of expectations, so much joy in the moments of faith, and so much strength in that one step forward.
I still carry the thought that even if I am simply writing for myself, I am learning. But, knowing that there is a community that walks with me and commits to reading my posts, lights a flame under me, seeing that courage leads to growth. I am so unbelievably grateful for the Allie-Cat community. Thank you for sticking with me, sharing how you relate or how a post has encouraged you, circulating posts to others, and being a part of my learning and growing as I continue. Have an amazing weekend! Like always, leave a comment, follow on Instagram, share The Allie-Way, and subscribe to get each new post delivered to your inbox so you never miss one. Thank you for reading Allie-Cats, excited for season three.
Dru Allie
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