Chapter 1
It has been a few weeks since her self-discovery of trying to find the good among the gloomy tendencies. Now she is taking moments out of her work hours to scour the internet to plan her upcoming trip. She looks over the calendar, pinpointing the perfect days to be there, finding the perfect places to stay, and looking into popular restaurants. It’s a science. It’s not that she fully enjoys planning trips, but she loves the anticipation of it, the way that it causes her to smile involuntarily and causes her to start planning outfits and hairstyles weeks in advance in preparation. The anticipation resonates as plans begin to narrow down and the trip still lays days away. But, as the hours, minutes, and seconds speed up where the moments of planning are beginning to take form into reality, she goes to work. Knowing that in two weeks she’ll have an entire week of no more cream walls, gray cubicles boxing everyone in, and a week without needing to stare at the sticky notes that remind her to find the good. A new addition to her workspace.
Her friend walks by and does his daily check-in by perching his leg on her desk and looking at her inquisitively.
“What?” She asks nose deep into her laptop scouring through pizza places by the hotel she found.
“Just wanted to hear how the trip was coming together and if you had started packing already?” He leans in and looks over her shoulder.
“I’m almost ready…” she says adding the restaurant to her eagerly growing list.
Chapter 2
The plane ride was quick, she had the window, like always, where she curled up into a little ball
and slept almost the whole flight. As soon as she landed she texted her friend who was picking her up. Her eager ambitions were slowly melting away her normal cool calm behavior. Although, as the people on the flight began to file out, an unexpected stowaway tucked itself away in her backpack. She felt a breath of anxiety shiver down her. She took a deep breath pushing out the thoughts of plot holes in her plan and tried to swap places with her alter ego of someone who can be carefree and go with the flow. This trip is just her and her best friend who is meeting up in Oregon for her best friend's work trip where the two decided to take a mini vacation.
She gets off and avoids the masses of people by dancing through them to the baggage claim the stewardess had announced over the speakers. She’s then outside embracing her friend in one of those hugs that are only shared with people who feel like home. Then their trip crosses the starting line and she has five days to experience everything. But, the internal battle played volleyball in her mind. Does she count the days to make sure nothing is missed? Or does she pretend the calendar was never invented? However, before any extensive thought was carried out, they had the adventure of navigating through the rest of the zoo trying to escape the airport. Next stop… lunch.
The five days were filled with hiking, waterfalls, and delicious food. She had times when she would wander around the city alone when her friend was in meetings. But, when she was done, they would continue their exploring. The sun decided to be their third wheel the whole week and the color green jumped off of the trees to serenade them. The icy air emerged from its hiding
place in the evenings and mornings. The coffee was a constant companion who pushed them when they felt like doing nothing. The time there was exhausting with all the late-night catchup conversations and long miles of walking. And it was quick, due to deciding to stay focused on the present which meant the last days snuck up on them thinking it would be funny to pop up and scare them.
Then it was time to part ways at the airport. Even the airplanes reflected a dull demeanor. The high energy now felt crowded. And the sleeplessness of the past week seemed to want to keep her company. So, on the flight home, long hours were spent sleeping until the wheels landed on reality.
Chapter 3
That gloom that she has been working so hard to push past, tapped her on the shoulder as they began taxing to the gate. And the slideshow of the past trip she wasn’t aware of ordering began to play out in her mind. A rush of sadness begins to seep into her thoughts until she is forced to collect herself and gather her things to deplane. The burst of the smell of home slaps her back to reality once she’s in the open air walking to her car in the airport lot. Carryon, dragging behind her, carrying nothing but days out of the office. However, the closer her feet carried her to her car, the more eager her body ached for the warm embrace of her bed and the ability to not need to dig around in her bathroom bag for everything she needs. There is a specific joy that comes with our everyday tendencies. Yet, as she steps into her home and is greeted by a visual of herself in the mirror by the door, she is reminded that she is alone. Now, typically she doesn’t mind this feeling, she welcomes it. But, once one becomes used to the company of feeling the ghost of someone immersed in every action of the day, a house to one’s self begins to feel hollow. The echo of her thoughts chases after her. And the memories taunt her while she glides through her photos. She drops her bags and immediately begins to pull things out to put them away, wanting life to feel normal again without this airy depression that makes a well-timed visit. A visit that taunts things about her everyday life that she wishes to change, but doesn’t know how to.
The next day at work she walks past her office friend on the way to the kitchen. She stops and loses herself in thought staring at another beach photo on his calendar.
“Mmhmm” she hears him clear his throat behind her. “Well welcome back, I assume you haven’t embraced reality just quite yet?” He looks at her and then at the calendar.
“Oh right, just easing back in. A week may not feel long, but it was long enough to make me revisit my threat of discovering ways I would never need to work again.” She says looking back at him with a half smile.
“So, I’ll take it, it was a fun trip? He smiles. “And dang it, if you quit, who is going to be my coffee buddy?” He glances at his empty mug napping on his desk.
“Well, I guess the only other option would be to start planning my next trip. And create another exciting milestone I can look forward to now that I have marked my last one off.” She shifts her eyes from the calming waves to the harsh black numbers staking claim to each day of the week. She roams back to her desk and sits. She opens her computer ready to start the whole process over again after allowing her brain the time to remember the little exciting moments that do come in her everyday, normal life.
Welcome back
It’s the excitement of having a goal, an adventure, and something to look forward to, to help us drive forward with anticipation. It’s the three stages among the many in this ocean we call life. Drifting from one wave to the next. The anticipation stage, then in the thick of it stage, and lastly the recovery stage. That stage can feel like a relief depending on the trip, but most commonly is a phase that feels like we are in limbo. We come home again ready to not eat out as much, to finally catch up on sleep, and normal daily routines. But the whisper of minimal responsibility, and the lack of pressures that our everyday world can provide begins to lose its grip around us as we begin to feel longing. So, we start to search for another milestone to charge us forward to keep the waves moving so the life we are blessed with doesn’t turn stagnant among our mundane and not always thrilling tasks. It is the post-trip blues, a period after a grand adventure where we need to wash off the thrill and buzz of what was, and try to once again find the little and big joys that we love about our life.
No matter how grateful we are for our friends, families, homes, pets, jobs, and daily tasks, there seems to always be a recovery period after a fun event or trip. It’s inevitable. It is a feeling that only lasts a few days. It is that high that comes with coming back down from the crazy rollercoaster. Trying to feel like we aren’t moving once back on solid ground. I just recently got home from a trip and thought what a funny feeling that no one talks about. So, if this is something that happens to you, I can relate. It is normal or at least relatable. Let me know if you can relate by leaving a comment, follow along on Instagram, sharing this with someone, and don’t forget to subscribe. Thanks for reading Allie-Cats.
Dru Allie
Comments