A Different View...

Chapter 1 

She threw open her car door a little more aggressively than she meant. Looking up, she saw that the wingspan of her door caught the attention of a few passing pedestrians. While most of the people returned to their task at hand, an older woman sitting on a bench outside the building continued to stare. A hint of paranoia and a dash of self-consciousness infused a circle of thoughts into her already flavor-packed mind. So she quickly gathered her things off her passenger seat, throwing her tote bag over her shoulder and haphazardly shoving her water bottle, phone, keys, and wallet all into her right hand so she could close her door with a hint more grace than she used opening it; hitting the lock button on the door so she didn’t draw the attention back onto herself. As she circled the front of her car and approached the front of the building, where the woman who still watched her sat, her anxiety told her that this woman thought she was angry or perhaps an entitled young person who thought she was superior, so as she crept closer, trying to shove her wallet and water bottle into her bag without dropping her phone, she leaned down and smiled at the woman. “So sorry about my car door, the wind decided it wanted me to have a dramatic entrance.” She said with a little chuckle hoping the sarcasm would melt the frost she created in her head. 

“Oh.” The older woman startled, “You’re fine dear. I didn’t even notice, was I staring? I am sorry. Sometimes I become so lost in thought. I was actually admiring your necklace hanging in your window.” She gestured to the car, not 6 feet away parked at the curb, as the wind caused her gray hair to dance across her face.

“Oh… thank you, it was a gift from a friend.” She said, taken back by how much she caused the simple situation to snowball. “Well, I hope you enjoy your people-watching, have a great day.” She regained her composure and slipped much more gracefully into the building. 

Chapter 2

The elevator doors opened and presented her with the front desk of her brother's office. She smiled at the girl behind the desk and gave a little wave to make sure that she didn’t think she was rude. The woman behind the desk gave a subtle nod in return. She was a touch perplexed by the simple exchange but continued deeper into the plain, ice cube-coated office. As she entered, she walked past her brother's co-worker's desk, stopping when she saw movement behind one of the walls of her cubicle. 

“Hey!” She slowed her stride to a stop. 

“Oh… hey” Her brother's friend turned in her roller chair and stood, clearly bewildered after having her head immersed in the world of her computer. 

“How’s it going?” She asked politely, making eye contact before slicing the air with her gaze to look over her shoulder at her brother's desk. When she brought her attention back to the friend, she suddenly tugged on her T-shirt remembering she had worn the same one the past three times they had interacted. The thought crashed like a wave, sloshing until she made the first comment before the woman in front of her could form her thoughts. “Ha, I think I subconsciously always wear this shirt when I know I’m going to see you. You’ve surpassed the ‘must look nice always’ phase…nice job leveling up, or is it leveling down?” She says through a little laugh, running a hand through her ratty curls. 

“I honestly would not have even noticed, and I think you look great! Your curls are definitely curling today and I am here for it!” She gave her an obvious once over leaning back a little and tilting her chin down punctuating her comment with a smile, then after seeing skepticism, put both her hands up. “Honest! You here to see your brother?” She pivoted and grabbed a pen off her desk then turned back to lean on it . 

It took her a minute to respond because she had to get past the hard pill that she was trying to swallow that she thinks about herself in a different light than everyone else does, taking a minute before she registered the question. “Yeah… obligated weekly sibling stop in.” She sing-sanged, while giving a sarcastic mini eye roll and a similar look to the smirk emoji. 

“Ahhhh, yes. Well give him trouble for me as well, I’m sure he’s done something to deserve it today.” She stood to her full height and walked back over to her chair giving her a smile over her shoulder before she winked and sat down. Or maybe just her eye twitched, it’s hard to say.

“I’ll do my best.” She said waving over her shoulder as she walked away.

Chapter 3

She slid up to her brother's desk which looked as though it had eaten the sun with how his lamp illuminated his office space. Propping herself up on his desk, she switched the page of his ocean calendar to the previous month and hid his pens under a stack of papers… older sister things. After almost five minutes of waiting, the man in question finally appeared out of the doorway that presumably led to their kitchen. “So he does work here.” She says placing his last paper clip onto her paperclip chain without looking up, simply feeling his presence looming over her.

“And the prodigal sister returns to steal more of my snacks.” He flicked her knee as he rounded his desk placing his coffee mug next to his computer. “Should I expect to find my stapler in Jello? Or maybe my desk a few inches from its typical resting place?” He finally looked at her. 

“Ha ha hilarious. No, I simply was in the area and knew I would feel like a bad sister if I didn’t stop to say hello, and make sure you weren’t dying of some FOMO explosion of some kind.” She tried to stifle her smile but failed. 

“What would I ever do without you.” He deadpanned. “You must have left your cape in the car then.”

“NO CAPES!” She raised a pointed finger in the air dramatically this time not hiding her laugh. He simply shook his head and then proceeded to quote another Edna scene, smacking her with a rolled-up magazine. Once concluded and he sat back at his desk she asked, “What’s with the blond at the front desk? I thought front desk people were supposed to be friendly and ‘the face of the company’ and all that?” She raised her voice an octave when saying the last part, still a little thrown by the lack of enthusiasm shown, thinking maybe she was annoyed she had interrupted whatever she had been working on. 

“What do you mean? She’s the best, what’d she do?” He started a black ops mission to find one of his beloved pens. 

“I don’t know, I smiled and waved at her and she barely looked up.” She guided the papers with the hidden pens to hide better behind the wall she was making while sitting on his desk. 

“Girl... she probably didn’t give you a second thought. Don’t become so hung up on others' actions thinking that she was giving you more than a second or two worth of thought. You're great, but she probably just has a lot going on and didn’t have the availability to give you a full-fledged hello.” He sayed tilting his head to her. “You are thought about far less than you think about yourself. Fact… sorry.” He said with a quick bounce of his shoulders resuming his hunt trying to reach around her. 

“Fine… I concede to your point. You're almost developed brain is finally being useful I see.” She said letting go of the ice packs the front desk woman caused her to pick up. “So, are you the only guy who works here?” She proceeded to scope out the office. 

“Yep, as of right now, I am Schmidt among his vast office of hormone-infused air fresheners. If Schmidt can survive, so can I.” He said it so confidently she couldn't help but embrace the shadow of laughter that passed at that moment, thankful to feel comfort in being herself around someone who she knows knows her. 

Chapter 4

It’s funny how we expect people to carry the same level of care and thought about ourselves that we carry like a backpack all day, every day. We are constantly thinking about ourselves, seeing our reflections, wondering if we are hungry, if our favorite shirt makes us look how we think we do, if we said something that will cause a lasting impression, or if our deodorant stopped working and was noticeable enough to cause other to not want to stand next to us in the future. Subconsciously we are always having a mini micro snack of thoughts and opinions. We see ourselves in a different light than what others see us. Typically our versions are seen through a negative smoke screen and we think others' compliments are delusions that they say to make us feel better. But, we only see our insecurities, left to stare at them all day every time we see a photo or a mirror. However, we see others for who they are, and how they make us feel, and create our own opinion not based on their flaws. Although yes, sometimes we see the negatives in others depending on how they portray their personalities. But, if we put our best foot forward, the way we see others is the same way people see us. A quote I read recently, “Different eyes see different things.” And at least for me, that can be a comforting thought. 

When we strive to be our best, the better our lasting impression will be, but also we don’t need to dwell that people are picking us apart 20 minutes after we have left or remembering that embarrassing thing we did last year because people have far too many other things to think about. In the same way, we aren’t observing others through their opinion of themselves or as often. Life is far more simple than we allow ourselves to see. I hope that something amazing happened this week for you and that this encourages you this weekend. These posts are so fun to write so I hope you enjoyed reading it even though it was a touch longer than normal. As always please share it, leave a comment (it can be about the post or on anything I’m not picky I just like hearing your thoughts!), Subscribe, and follow on Instagram. Thanks for reading Allie- Cats. 

• Dru Allie