If you have an Instagram or a TikTok, then you have probably heard the term “dolce far niente”. This sentence is Italian for “the art of doing nothing.” A beautiful way to entice you to take a breath and smell the roses, if you will. In today's world of feeling as if all day everyday needs to be filled with something, it can be important to remember that that go go go mentality can leave one feeling overworked and anxious. In life, we need to pull out our scale and find a balance between that ambitious culture and that mellow, do nothing culture. For those that feel the need or pressure to constantly be working, going, and doing, it can be hard to allow yourself those moments of subtle enjoyment. And for those who overuse the word relax and allow, it can be hard to motivate and push oneself to work.
Maybe Too Much
Allowing ourselves to relax can be just as beneficial as working all day every day. It is a reset button. We all know the term “burn-out” is caused by overworking. Finding that moment or moments of calm, peace, and quiet can replenish us and cause us to come back feeling more motivated and eager to continue. Relaxing isn’t only sitting and doing nothing or watching TV. It can look like a hobby, painting, crocheting, surfing, reading, taking a shower, or the one talked about most…skincare and self-care, but it can also be cooking, baking, taking a walk, working out, going for a swim. According to the dictionary the word “relax” means, “make or become less tense or anxious.” My form of cooling off and resetting myself could look entirely different than say someone who had kids, who has a more physical job, or someone who doesn’t feel rejuvenated by naps and doing nothing. Like most things, social media has decided that everyone should either emulate self-care all day every day, or push for that work work work mentality, that rise and grind. But let’s be real… that’s not realistic. We want to enjoy what we are doing and allowing ourselves to come up for air is a way that we can do that. It is something that we need to tell ourselves it is ok and even good to do. When I was younger, my mom used to homeschool all four of us and would always say that she would feel guilty for allowing herself to sit and enjoy a book or a magazine. That was before the influence to push ourselves and make something of ourselves. The pressure to have it all together, to know what we want to do, to own a hundred different companies, to constantly be pushing and competing with ourselves and those around us. I love doing nothing, sitting on my couch, taking naps, and watching TV, but yet I feel guilty on occasion for not being out being active, doing something meaningful, learning, or doing something beneficial to grow myself in society. And the question is why? Allowing those occasions to enjoy the moments we are in can propel us forward to gain clarity and motivation. But, with that, we can’t allow ourselves to become lazy and complacent. It is about finding the balance of prioritizing our mental and physical health with moving forward, growing, learning, and providing for ourselves and our families.
Motivation
Now, as I said earlier how I enjoy the art of napping and taking moments for myself, I can teeter on the line between being lazy and motivated. I can be extremely driven, especially when I feel people doubt my capabilities. I also believe in hard work, if we are doing a job we should be doing our best at that job and not waiting for someone to ask us to do it. However, if I am at home and faced with going out or staying in doing nothing, I have to talk myself into going out. I am an introvert which will change my point of view from those that need to constantly be doing something and talking to someone. But with those aside, it can be easy to fall into the pit of doing nothing and giving into the “I’ll do it later” mentality. When we allow ourselves to slip into that feeling we need to remind our system of the importance and excitement that work and patients can have on our mental health. That rut of feeling like it’s work to leave the house is all in our heads. I can feel completely content at home all day, but when I wind up finding myself beyond my walls I feel a release of endorphins that cause my mood to lift and to feel refreshed to see views that we miss from the comfort of our home. Whether it’s simply telling ourselves to get up and be active by working out, taking a walk, going to some form of water if it’s available, or finding a spot to watch the sunset to help us step out of our head and improve our mood, or if it is motivating us to accomplish our goals and dreams, we need to step out of our comfort zone and chase something exciting and important to us. Forcing ourselves to jump despite being comfortable and safe. We should also not doubt or question our capabilities. We are far more able than we realize.
Like A Scale
How boring would life be if we weren’t constantly chasing after balance? Those who are ambitious, go-getters, overachievers, or even biting off more than they can chew should force themselves to slow down and find moments of calm. On occasion that can even mean dropping something that we are trying our hardest to carry. Social media can be a dangerous hole in encouraging everyone to push themselves to the breaking point, to be motivated, and to follow and carry all their goals and ambitions. But, that isn’t always reality. If we begin to feel heavy and unable to carry everything it’s time to drop something that may not be as important as we thought or simply find time to hit our reset button. Mental health can deteriorate by being overworked and just as equally underworked. For those that find themselves relaxing in their repeated days with no motivation and over prioritizing self-care over work, we need to step out and push ourselves. Social media can also trick us into thinking life should be easy and relaxed. Self-care is good, but too much can leave us with an unresolved feeling of boredom causing us to deteriorate in our minds.
I can fall closer to the side of ignoring my motivation, but I try to trick myself into the importance of pushing myself beyond my thoughts. I also try to ignore the stereotypes that culture throws at us and remind myself that it’s ok to not carry the world, but not to allow myself the easy routes out or think that people were handed their goals without the work that I would have to go through. Both sides are confusing and can be hard to admit and work toward that balance, but the more we try the easier it will become. I hope you had a fantastic week and are looking forward to the weekend. Don’t forget to take a second and subscribe and let me know what you think about this topic. Also, feel free to follow along on Instagram (@theallie.way) and share The Allie-Way with someone. Again, thanks for reading Allie-Cats!
Dru Allie
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