Ok, so a few weeks ago I was on a trip visiting some friends and it got me thinking about how interesting long distance is. It’s amazing how we are so blessed to be able to travel in so many different ways, and in such short amounts of time. Because we have so many efficient forms of transport means that we are most likely leaving someone or headed to see another. No one likes having people be long-distance, it’s just a part of the life that we live. But this isn’t a new concept over the last few years, Jesus left his disciples all the time in the Bible. And although long-distance isn’t a new thing, it has progressively begun to be harder. Saying goodbye sucks and despite the number of times one might practice it, one will never become 100% numb to the feeling. And once the sad feeling of goodbye has worn off, we are then left to remember that the world you just left is not on pause, their lives go on and you are left watching it from an outside perspective. Although, the feeling of reconnecting with those that you once left can be a feeling of many different emotions. It can leave you feeling excited yet… also maybe a little anxious. It’s the joy of seeing people that you love and miss, but also walking back into a situation that moved on without you and maybe forgetting that things have changed.
A few weeks ago
So, I was sitting in the airport writing this, looking back on my trip I had taken and reflecting on similar moments from my past. I was so excited to see people that I hadn’t seen in almost two years and at the same time, I was a little nervous. I was entering back into a world that I chose to leave knowing that life moved on without me. It wasn’t going to be the same as when I left, people had moved on, jokes had been exchanged without me, new people entered the picture and as much as you try to prepare yourself to dive in, it can get isolating at moments. But, unfortunately, and gratefully, I had already been following along on their lives from thousands of miles away. And I say “unfortunately” because watching someone's life move on without you can be hard at times. But it only takes moments to feel as if you never left, although that's not saying there won't be times that you may get a glimpse of the distance that is often there. I am so grateful for travel and for the opportunity to see people that I have missed. After saying goodbye it’s so amusing when you leave (and in most cases, it’s by airplane) you are left with a full day of sitting on airplanes and looking out airport windows while people you said bye to only hours earlier can’t help but move on with their daily lives as if nothing had happened at all. It’s all the same for when others make the trek back to visit you. Long-distance is a feat that can’t be avoided nor would I want it to. Because no matter how hard or sad goodbyes may be, they are a part of growing and learning how much each person means to you. Along with that, how exciting is it to greet people that you miss? The feeling of seeing someone's face once you arrive, and typically the hug that follows, is truly one of my favorite things.
Over the years
I remember the feeling of waiting in the airport for my sister back when she was in college coming home for a holiday. I would wait anxiously, looking from head to head, scanning the crowds, and then the moment I would see her my heart would beat a touch faster and occasionally tears would make an appearance and every now and then she would have some too (I’m an easy crier… I cry when a certain genre of music is put on). But that embrace was always my favorite! It was always a tight, long hug that left you feeling safe and comfortable. It was then typically followed by the sad hug of saying goodbye with a whole new set of tears. The crazy way our body can do the same action for different reasons, but in the same manner. My mom and dad both cry. My mom waits until we aren’t around, but my dad is the worst… anytime he would have to say bye to us whether we were leaving to go back to school or what, he would cry and then make us walk away leaving him like that! It was torcher! But the sweet kind.
Because we lived in two states all growing up, saying hello and goodbye became normal, or as normal as it could get. Maintaining friends was a challenge that caused our family to become so close, but it also caused our relationships, that stayed through the years, more special and caused those “hi's” to be more exciting and worth the “goodbyes”. It was part of our normal to never attach ourselves too deeply, but looking back now I see how challenging it can be for a main character in your life to skip in and out often. It feels as though you say goodbye, then force yourself to forget that a person you love is living life and doesn’t necessarily need you for their daily lives to continue. It’s a weird concept, but it’s just how life is. It’s like our lives are movies. My movie plays and has cross-over characters and occasionally a scene will shift causing different characters to cycle through, but because they are in their own movie, all movies continue to play on.
Communication always
Because human interaction is so important and leaving others is a situation that can’t be helped, people have always found a way to stay in communication. Way back when, people would send others to deliver verbal or written messages to friends. Now, of course, this took much longer than our 10-second text messages, however, that was their way of trying to stay in contact. Looking back, as communication became more important, letters were introduced by post in 1633 to then phone calls (thanks to Alexander Graham Bell), and we have since evolved through the years to today where we have Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, FaceTime, Marco Polo, texting, and just phones in general. It is so easy to stay in contact with those that we miss and love and I couldn’t be happier about it. I love talking to the people I miss. I try to always text back. I hate leaving a Snapchat unread. I try to plan FaceTime calls, but I will say I am a rare case. Most people I know love the ability to stay in contact with people they miss but also are trying to play out their own “movie”. Being on their phone can sometimes cause interference, but that doesn’t mean they don’t try or that they don’t miss their people.
I love staying in contact with people, but I also enjoy those people that I don’t talk to often, and then when I see them in person it’s as though no time has passed. They are both truly rewarding scenarios. I will say though, that because we have evolved so much and are so easily integrated into people's lives that we may not see every day, it can be a challenge to watch their lives on highlight reels. It can feel, occasionally, as if you're being left out or on those very vulnerable days…forgotten. Those are never fun lies and although social media can be a challenge, it’s best to look at their lives with excitement knowing their movie is thriving while ours is also moving forward.
Ok!
Hellos and goodbyes are inevitable and the reality is that they will never truly stop carrying a touch of discomfort. Although, in saying that, that doesn’t mean that we will have times in life when we welcome a simple goodbye or depart from those that a five-day visit was the perfect amount. Let’s be real, we all have those people or moments in our lives. It’s natural to feel a longing or a slight touch of sadness when a hug and a goodbye are exchanged. Our family never left the house without telling our parents goodbye with a hug and a kiss growing up. It was a way to show that we cared and those people would be missed. Squeals of excitement and a solid embrace are one of the most joyous feelings. It brings warmth and excitement to the forefront of the mind. Long-distance is a way of life and an act that we subconsciously deal with and learn to handle our emotions without even truly thinking about it. It’s so bizarre that we are constantly left dealing with these feelings as if they were second nature…as if it were the same as breathing. Sometimes we are consciously thinking about it and other times it’s an act that happens subconsciously. What an interesting concept. But what a joy it is to know that we have people in our lives that we have to learn how to deal with whichever emotion floods our way.
What a blessing family and friends are! I think a lot about how interesting it is that no matter how many times I say goodbye or hello, certain feelings will always rise to the surface. Hope you text someone you miss and spark up maybe a quick conversation, and I hope that you and they have a fantastic week and weekend! Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a comment and or subscribe to the blog. I’ll email you directly with the link and you can fully join in on the Allie-cat fam. Also, feel free to leave a comment on my Instagram @Theallie.way, I always love hearing from you! Thanks for reading!
Dru Allie
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