Does anyone really know who they are? Aren’t we all just guessing? On a car ride home the other day, I got into a conversation about personalities and different traits and how they define us. Which caused me to begin to evaluate myself. I do this often, but each time I end up finding a new door I haven’t opened. It is amazing how we spend our whole lives trying to figure out just who we are instead of just letting go and living. We never truly let our personalities bloom just as a flower grows and shines with beauty and grace then slowly withers looking fulfilled knowing its purpose was accomplished with passion and excitement. We live in a world that leaves us comparing, judging, and feeling insecure. Even though we all feel that way, some can push past it and walk forward without those confining chains.
Public Opinion
Let’s start with a bang! Social media… a truly fun and sometimes great place, however, I believe it can do more harm than good. Some creators present themselves in a fun and artistic manner leaving you feeling inspired and eager to do something. Others cause you to feel excited and ready to see the world. But then there are those that cause you to feel discontent, question your beauty, ability, personality, or life stage. This is so sad because we are all unique and each person's personality is what defines each one of us. We become overly concerned with others' opinions about us that we allow it to affect our world and personal opinion about ourselves. God made us all with characteristics that would define each of us as individuals. And although we are each created uniquely, that doesn’t mean that we aren’t capable of “shape-shifting” depending on who we watch or are around. We watch people on YouTube or Instagram and tend to start acting or mimicking their personalities, interests, lifestyles, or even fashion sense. Now, to clear the air, this isn’t a bad thing. It’s ok to adjust ourselves and our interests depending on who we are around or who we follow. The issue arises when we lose ourselves trying so hard to become someone we think others would want or become someone that we admire.
In The Mirror
I know when I am around different people my actions tend to reflect those people or the person I am with. If I’m around crazy and fun people, my crazy and fun side pokes through. If I’m around other creative people I feel more bold, creative, and less restricted or judged. If I am around solemn and more serious people I can do that too. And when we are around all of those it can get confusing sometimes. Or if we are around one certain category for too long that might not be fully you, it could confuse and leave you craving those social media perfect worlds. It is important to surround ourselves with like-minded people, but because sometimes that isn’t always an available option, it’s important to learn what our personality is. What are my interests, what are some of my goals, how do I like to dress, and can I let myself be silly when those around me are not as spirited? Knowing ourselves above all else is the key to becoming settled. Yes, life moves forward, people change, and friendships shift, but being comfortable in our skin and circumstances will cause us to have less depression, anxiety, and self-deprecating thoughts, causing us to enjoy our life instead of trying to copy others.
Putting Ourselves in Others Circumstances
I see carefree people, they don’t think everything over, they just live. I wish I could be like that, but I know enough about my personality to know that I was born an overthinker. Instead of becoming mad at myself, jealous of others, or even judging others, I can use them as an example to try to teach myself how to live now and work on not overloading my brain. It is important to learn the personality God gave us and let ourselves fall into the traits that come naturally to us. We should glean from others, pick up different lifestyles, and grow in who we are, but not allow ourselves to squish what makes us unique to try to fit in or not feel out of place. People tend to gravitate toward those who accept who they are and enjoy the traits they were given. When people are confident, it causes them to be an influence. We should strive to be an influence and not the influenced. We should try to lift people up to be excited at who they are, not striving to be someone else. I am typically pretty out there and I enjoy being creative, sarcastic, yet sensitive, and a natural-born talker. I quite often try to cover up my weird side because I feel as though people may judge me. I try to give off an air of maturity because I want people to respect me, yet I go home overthinking everything I did or said because I didn’t feel confident. If we are so focused on faking who we are: one, we will never be able to fully learn how truly amazing we can be and two, we will walk away worn out and lost because we aren't living up to our amazing potential.
Loving yourself
The “love yourself” movement has been around for quite a while. If I can’t love who I am, how do I expect others to? I can’t fill a void with other people's approval when I can’t allow myself to give my approval. My cat Gus, for example, knows how weird I am, he’s witnessed and been an accomplice to a side of me that not many people get to see and the best part of that is, he still loves me and wants to be around me… and not only because I feed him. It’s the same with those that we surround ourselves with. We should have people around us that love and motivate us despite our personalities. And for those people who may cause us to perhaps feel judged or out of place, it is on us to push past that uncomfortable stage and know that we are enjoying who we are and their judgment is only affecting themselves. Not everyone we come in contact with will be our best friend or even acquaintance, but we should never cause someone to feel anything less than the amazing person they were created to be. In pushing people up and encouraging those who feel the same as us, it will cause us to be more appreciative and confident in our own situations.
Baby Steps
This is an ongoing process that no matter what phase of life we are in will need to push past, but like most things, the more we can practice not caring and loving who we are, the easier it will be to believe and live out. It will take time and patience and probably lots of self-evaluating and uncomfortable moments, but the outcome looks like a breath of fresh air. We need to stop wishing to be or coveting someone else. We all have our own personalities that set us apart. Now let’s all fake it till we make it. Relax and take a deep breath, when we feel like we begin to fake our personalities, nip it in the bud and be confident in the things we say or the actions we choose to make. Fake the confidence until the day that it is what happens naturally. But also remember, there isn’t a limit; there is not one personality for each person. We change depending upon who we are with and what we are doing. It’s ok to have conflicting personalities as long as we are being true to who we are and not hiding it or being ashamed of ourselves. That will only cause our confusion to grow.
This has been a subject that revolves around my head often because it’s true, I still think over conversations I had years ago and wonder what I should have said instead or what those people thought of me. It takes up too much space in my mind that could be occupied by something far more important. Like always, I hope you have an amazing weekend and don’t forget to subscribe by adding your email to “Never Miss a Post” or add a comment at the bottom of the website. It makes me so excited when I get to interact with you and helps me know what all you Allie-Cats would like to read. Also, please feel free to share The Allie-Way with someone! I hope this inspired you and or helped you feel less crazy and alone. You are all amazing!
Dru Allie
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