Ok, let’s talk about comparing the life stage you're in with someone else. It has a similar feel to the last blog post, but less in a career-oriented way. There is this awkward misconception where we see another person's success or life stage and think that that is where we should be too, but no two lives are the same. We need to remember that every person has their own beginning. If we follow someone on Instagram and see this amazing life that they have created, they make money from posting things, they get free stuff, they may have the life that we want, we should look back and see where it started. Look at the awkward phases, the failed attempts, the rejections, because no life is perfect.
Age is but a number
I would like to start this off by saying that age is just a number. Yes, there are maturity levels, however, we should be slow to write someone off because of their age. Life goes through many different stages and nothing is worse than being judged based on age alone. Most of my friends today are actually older than me. I may not have had as many different experiences that someone else did, but why would that be a reason to not enjoy someone's company?
Now I bring this up because although we might be friends with people in different life stages, it can be a challenge to remember what stage of life you are in. Let’s say…my sister, for example. She just got married, has a job that she loves, and has people around her that she cares a lot about. I could look at her and get down on my own life wishing I knew what I wanted to do or wanting to be in the life stage she finds herself in now, but you can’t forget to zoom out and remember that although age is just a number, there is a gap. What was she doing at my age? Where was she at? When I see my life from that perspective, I’m not as behind as I thought I was!
Things typically don’t just appear
Yeah, but I want the life that I want right now and I should have it right now because well… they have it right now! Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. A person we may be comparing ourselves to had to push themselves, work, try, fail, and figure out their direction just the same as us. And the one that always hurts the worst is someone who may not even be in a different stage of life, someone your age who maybe has the life that you were hoping for, still had to work for it. It can be easy to get wrapped up in seeing success and thinking “if it just appeared,” the truth is only like 5% of people have that reality and I am so very happy for them, you have no idea (said with a hint of a sarcastic tone, in case you didn’t pick up on it). I was talking to my dad and I realized I never asked him what he was doing at my age. I knew that he also didn’t finish college and I knew that he created a few of his own companies from the ground up, but I didn’t know the full back story. He told me that he was working two random jobs not sure where he wanted to be or do. But, looking at him now you would have never known that about him. It’s so dumb that we feel this push to be the next big thing and we can't ever be satisfied unless our goal (if we even have one) is achieved. Things happen in the perfect timing. We can’t change the past, we can look to the future and try to plan out what will happen next, but we all live in today. Our life that we live is in this moment and I am grateful you are choosing to use this moment to read this but, what are you doing after? We could be using the next moment to be excited for what’s coming instead of constantly trying to see the future through someone else's life. If we had that mindset, I’m sure we would feel much more settled in your day. I tell you, it’s crazy how much I enjoy and hate social media all at the same time. It can be so fun to see what other people do and how they do it, but man, sometimes it can really bring you down. Do I have it? yes. Do I go on it far too much? yes. Do I compare myself to the people I see there? oh for sure. But I also learn from others, pick up ideas, recipes, outfit ideas, etc. It really can be a weapon and a tool. How we look at things will help direct our thoughts towards other people on social media or the people that we interact with on a day-to-day basis.
Contentment
What a word, let me tell you. It is such a simple word yet so mean mixed into a bowl of lots of trying and failing. That word right there has broken so many people, why, because being content is so hard. But… It is a good word. I am constantly reminding myself to be content and enjoy where I am right now. I am living through different phases of other people's lives. I could be currently going through something that someone else could have already gone through or someone younger might at one time go through. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t work or think about my future self, but I need to understand that my moment is different from my sister's moment. Life has so many opportunities for people and they don’t all happen the same. A person could find their dream job at one age and their best friend could find theirs at 40. It’s like trying to play two different games at the same time and trying to get the same outcome; It won't work. You are playing a whole different game that will get you to the goal at a different time via a whole new direction. Make sure to pay attention to your game, not someone else's. (I like analogies in case you didn’t pick up on that. It helps the information stick better, at least for me.)
Let me try and sum this up before I get too redundant or get on a whole new tangent. We should be excited about the life stage that is in front of us, where I am in life is different from where you are. It does not mean that we are behind or slacking and it shouldn’t make us want to rush the life that we have now to be where someone else is. And again, I am guilty of this! We were all created for just a time as this, enjoy it. We need to work toward our future, if we do that, it can’t run away, it’s not going to run to the neighbor. It would only pass us by because we were too focused on someone else or we gave up entirely. I hope this helps to keep you accountable like it will for me.
And look! I made this one shorter, your welcome!
Thanks for reading, Allie-cat’s.
Also, if you have a topic you would like to hear my opinion on, you can leave a comment at the bottom of the home page. I love hearing from you guys and one needs to stay relevant in this quickly changing environment so I’d appreciate it. Hope you all have a good rest of your week!
Dru Allie
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