Masks; something to shield one's face, to acquire a different persona, to hide the emotions that lay underneath, and to conceal one's true identity. We’ve become so welcoming to the frequent visitor of our mask. We all understand how to put on a face, but hiding a feeling doesn't make it go away. This new face can be covering our sadness, anger, anxiety, stress, or trauma with a smile. Or it can look like an electronic device, communicating with no face-to-face connection. This can allow us to share and feel comfortable without being seen or it can be a feeling of allowing an ugly side to lash out feeling no repercussion due to the mechanically engineered mask. The abundant uses for a cover are exponential. And we all use the cover of our personalized collection of new faces. But, why do we feel the need for ourselves to be hidden?
Face To Face
There is something about being transparent when others can’t see your face. I love to be open and share my experiences here on my blog. It gives me joy being able to hopefully make someone feel less isolated the way that I have felt at different times in my life. But, when it comes to being vulnerable when someone can see my face, I hide behind a mask of sarcastic comments or the option of walking away feeling ridiculous and vulnerable. As we are all very aware by now, I have no shame writing, whether it is a serious post or a more whimsical post. I love how words can share emotions, feelings, heartache, love, drama, pain, confusion, and hurt. Words are so powerful, which is why we have to be as, or if not more, careful with them as we are with any other weapon. And as expressive as words are, it’s not a requirement to see the man behind the curtain. It is as though OZ is writing everything we want to say while the operator works anonymously. Our face is shaded from the world, yet we portray a whole other identity beyond the velvet curtains. People say much less knowing it would be received face to face. And the availability to feel able to be vulnerable with others has seemed to have lost its opportunity. Masks provide a hidden layer of confidence.
Screen Face
The simplicity that we have now of allowing ourselves to be hidden behind a screen is freeing, yet can be alarming. To explore the cons let’s begin with the world of social media. It is a constant for an overwhelming number of us. We see lives photoshopped and staged to be natural and infuse the outside world with a life that is of our making. We show smiles and share inspiring comments while the reality is we thrive off of others building us up and become dependent on presenting ourselves as perfect and desirable, weakening our capability of self-love and gratitude for what we have. We can lash out in a way that feels guilt-free because we are unable to observe how the news was taken in. It’s the availability of becoming anonymous; masking our identity behind a username. It is feeling the pressures to be perfect, taking the joy out of something that should be seen as unique. It’s a persona that hides our weaknesses, imperfections, and emotions. It’s breaking our comfort of normal human interaction. The internet has given us the ability to hide.
While the negatives are deep and harsh, it’s taking those cons and flipping them to positives when used correctly. Social media can be a place to build others up. To step outside of our comfort zone and share something meaningful that we care about. It can be a place to put ourselves out there and show others a side that is not normally seen. It’s a place to feel like you can have a voice. For me, it is a place where I can share my experiences without the fear that I am talking too much, that no one cares, that my feelings are invalid, and that I am going to be vulnerable to then be abandoned. It is a place and face that opens doors that otherwise, we would not have access to. It can be a soft opening to our feelings and passions without the initial pressures of someone receiving it. It is a place where we need to be aware of the mask that we all carry and use. To recognize the effect and power that putting up a front can have.
Real World
Beyond our wall of zeros and ones, we hide away behind “I’m fine” and well-practiced smiles. We show enough emotions to appease the questions. But with every concealed emotion comes a deeper gut-wrenching feeling. To hide behind fake emotions, to use humor as a deflection, and to be the one to always ask the questions never leaving room to be asked can only be a band-aid for so long. Eventually, we need to recognize that it is ok to feel the emotions that form. Showing vulnerability and asking for help is not a weakness that needs to be covered. It is a strength that needs to be encouraged. We all have some form of coverup, we have all deflected at some point, so why pretend that we are all living in a flower-power world? To talk with a stranger who asks if we are fine, there is no need to feel the instinctual need of hiding, but also we don’t need to feel forced to deep dive. A simple “I'm not having a good day”, “I am struggling, but I’m working through it”, or even “I’ve been better, how are you?” and meaning that question. We all flippantly ask how others are doing, without caring to hear the answer. It’s as though we are the characters in A Cinderella Story who don’t recognize Sam without her mask on. It could be a mask that is blatantly right there or a full costume that consumes someone completely. It is important to acknowledge we live in a world where hurt and pain and depression consume so many so taking the time to truly care could be life-saving. And on the other side, to let go of feeling like we need to show a smile, a perfect life, a desired body, and a problem-less home. We all have something. How can we acknowledge our feelings and lay our masks down?
Nothing Is Easy
We are in a day and age where we have so many things and opportunities at our fingertips. Yet, our emotions, identities, and personalities have begun to slip away beyond our recognition. We put up a front of being in control, having it all together, knowing what we are doing, knowing what we want, and living our best picture-perfect life. But who is the mask for? Someone else who is struggling with the same things and faking it on the outside, but crumbling almost identically on the inside? No one likes that face-to-face exposure feeling. It’s hard, it can be almost as hard to be transparent as it is emotionally to put up a front. It is also scary to allow ourselves to become vulnerable in a setting that does not feel earned. But, despite the boys being aggressive and the girls being petty, the real ones will be there to lift us up and expose that maybe we didn’t need to feel so alone. And those who make us feel anything but heard, are probably too deep in hiding to recognize the strength of vulnerability.
Hiding can feel like second nature, it can come as easily as breathing. And if “I’m fine” is the better answer at that moment, that’s what needed to be said. But, recognize a hidden emotion from an internal process. It’s not “here let me share my deepest feelings”, that’s not how everyone works, but understand that a smile doesn’t always need to be forced, and we don’t always need to feel “on” and hide behind a good mood. Masks are everywhere, how can we learn to take them off and finally feel free? I hope this was relatable and resonates with you in some way. Enjoy the weekend, don’t forget to share this, follow me on Instagram if you don’t already (@theallie.way), and add your email to subscribe. I also love hearing from you so leave a comment! Thanks for reading Allie-Cats!
Dru Allie
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