The Redirect...

We have each walked through something at one time or another. We have all been faced with challenges, rough patches, and a collage of emotions that have in turn been directed toward others. Although we are each responsible for our actions, we are also responsible for our reactions. It is easy to jump to conclusions, make accusations, or take offense, but like looking at a photo, there are two sides to each situation. Our side might be the back of the photo, simple and without complexity. Whereas the other side is embedded in emotion and layers of things we may have never seen. In situations where it is easy to jump to conclusions, that is a time we should infuse ourselves with and remember to have compassion. Compassion isn’t simply a mindset, it is a complete demeanor change. It is turning off being quickly irritated, judgmental, or passive-aggressive and relaxing our body language trying to see things from their perspective. Our minds can shoot to a simple thought with a simple action, where we read something entirely wrong. We can’t venture into the other's mind so we are left making an assumption.

To Assume The Worst

As humans, we are quick to assume. It comes quite naturally to us without us even needing to think about doing it. We can walk down the street and observe someone else and completely assume what their life is like. “They carry themselves with good posture and their head held high, they probably think they are better than us”. “They dress like they don’t care much, they probably don’t have a lot in their account”. Man, who do we dang think we are? I laughed with a few friends after knowing each other for a while and talked about what we originally thought of one another. One friend thought I was pompous and had assumed that I thought I was better than everyone else simply because I didn't talk much because I used to be shy and because I had come from Kauai. We look at people and create labels for them or we become jealous of a life that we can’t see the inside of. We watch some of these people and dream to be like them and carry their confidence and lack of insecurities that they perceive to have, only to not see them crying in front of their mirror about things they are trying to embrace the same as we do. We simply assumed. And when we are checking out at a grocery store and the check-out clerk snaps at us we assume the worst, taking offense and letting it stew in our brains. We let it put a damper on our mood by assuming they were simply mean, grumpy, or annoyed, but something was going on behind the curtain of their life that we couldn’t see.

Book And Cover

We know the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. It applies to all aspects, truly. A tone, an expression, a lifestyle, and even words spoken. To judge someone is a bit of an oxymoron if we think about it. When judging others, we turn into hypocrites. I am by no means up here on my high horse pointing fingers, let me be very clear. I am a contributor to my topic. But, with compassion, there is no room for judgment. I mean, Matthew 7:1-5 in the Bible says it best. It’s long, so make sure to go back and read it. But, the fact of the matter is, we have no position to judge and compare others despite how naturally it comes. That is us taking something at face value and not hearing, learning, or observing the other side. When we remember to view others with compassion, we put aside our vendettas and uninvited thoughts like an artist who pushes away time to finish their masterpiece. The dictionary uses the word “pity” to describe compassion, however, I disagree. We aren’t pitting someone when we show them compassion, we are showing them grace, humility, patience, and comfort. In a situation where we should unfold our compassion, letting ourselves become wrapped up in the moment only hurts further whatever situation caused the other to act in such a way. It engulfs us along with them. Yet, if we take “the high road”, as people say, and are nonjudgmental and unassuming by showing compassion, we are not only letting it roll off our back, but extend the light of Jesus as well.

No Not Selfish

Showing others compassion is a hurdle that we must practice every day. Showing ourselves compassion is a mountain that we tend to neglect. It can feel selfish to allow ourselves the time to truly think about ourselves enough to open the door wide enough to allow compassion and our thoughts to both enter. However, to be able to properly and wholeheartedly show it to others, we need to learn how to show it to ourselves. We tend to be so harsh and judgmental of ourselves that we begin to feel it’s deserved or that our rational thoughts have blurred to then be wrong and our harsh thoughts are correct and deserved. Our insecurities begin to dictate our lives and our self-deprecating comments begin to feel earned and as though they are in charge. But when we remember and practice showing compassion for ourselves, we begin to be reminded that we are who we are because we were uniquely created to be exactly who and what we are. God doesn’t make mistakes, so why do we feel as though sometimes we are one? Or when something doesn’t go the way we planned, it can become so easy to accept the weight and feel as though we deserve the thoughts that come down on us like an avalanche. When we allow ourselves to take a deep breath and observe the situation with compassion, we can feel the weight that we laid on ourselves evaporate, allowing us to move past. We tend to feel crushed by the weight of the world at times. We begin to feel small and can even begin to feel like a victim among the mass of things that are thrown at us. It’s when we release the pressures, expectations, judgments, and thoughts, relaxing in knowing God sees the big picture and this is a step on a much longer and crazier path that we begin to understand compassion. As I have already said, it is not selfish to show compassion to oneself.

A Work In Progress

It is a struggle to learn to redirect our initial and instinctual human-natured thoughts. To go from assuming, judging, taking offense, overreacting, and becoming swallowed by our thoughts. To redirect our thoughts to try and see things from their point of view, brush it off, show empathy, and give mercy even if it comes as a struggle. We have such an opportunity to show God’s love to people who we see and feel don’t deserve it, looking in the mirror feeling inadequate or less than someone else, a person who was less than civil with us, a group who sat with their nose so high they stopped being able to see, and with those who reap the repercussions of their previous actions. To have compassion might be a struggle at first, but is an invaluable life skill. It takes humility and self-control. Ultimately it leaves us feeling lighter and less worried to encounter what life inevitably throws at us. It makes forgiveness that much easier. I am working on compassion. Occasionally it takes me modifying my initial frustration or judgment to then consider the other person's feelings and not let it affect me. And Lord knows that I have been fighting tooth and nail to have compassion for myself. They are both struggles that with practice, like everything else, we can learn to master. Or at least, try our best to have it be our first initial instinct, but allow room for the inevitable screw-ups.

I had started writing a completely different post and changed directions when the word compassion randomly infiltrated my mind. And what a word to bring into the spotlight! It is a word that all of us should be reminded of no matter how many times we have heard it or practiced it. Because the Lord has compassion on us, we are to strive to be like Him and show compassion to both ourselves and others. Psalms 119:156, 145:9, Lamentations 3:32 etc. I could go on, but I shall simply say that showing compassion never hurt anyone. I know that this was a helpful reminder for myself and I hope it was for you as well. Enjoy the weekend and don’t forget to follow on Instagram and subscribe. If you enjoyed this post, share it with someone, and don’t forget to leave a comment letting me know your thoughts. Thanks for reading Allie-Cats.

• Dru Allie