Chapter 1
The outside world called to her as she peeled herself out of her marshmallow of a bed and marched into her bathroom. It was a Saturday so nothing was claiming her time or day. She loved the weekends but felt relieved once work came on Monday because she didn’t need to develop a plan. She knew where she needed to be and what she needed to be doing. But, the weekends were still a welcomed 48 hours. As she brushed her teeth, she mulled over all of the day's possibilities. She needed to go grocery shopping, but also wanted to do something fun, but did she have someone to do anything with? Maybe, but were they available? And where would they go? The thoughts fluttered through her mind like a butterfly bouncing from flower to flower. It paused briefly on the question, “What if she went alone?”, but that thought caused her body to tense up. She wasn’t incapable, she just often felt lonely so she didn’t want to amplify that by embarking on something that would be more fun with someone. She was fine if she forcefully shoved her body through the roadblock others referred to as a door. After she had set out, the mental war she experienced to get there was often not in her favor.
Chapter 2
She sat there slowly eating her breakfast still pondering on the hours before her. She felt guilty for wasting such a beautiful day, but she was content among the stillness of her home. The outside yelled at her that she was being crazy and that opportunities were waiting for her. However, her home cuddled her gently. She gnawed on her spoon while her yogurt waited patiently. Why was she like this? Why was this so difficult? More often than not she was left to make plans on her own, that didn’t mean that no one cared, it simply meant that her friends had a busy life unlike her. Target was always an option. And she always admired those girls who would sit at a park or a coffee shop alone looking all busy and important with their laptops and books. “I wonder if they are even working on anything?” She thought to herself as she rinsed out her now empty bowl. Just then her phone buzzed.
“Hey, want to take a walk later?” her friend texted.
Ah yes, a plan, perfect! But what to do in the meantime?
“Sounds great!” She replied.
The little dots appeared before a response replaced them. “Perfect, how about we meet at five?”
That meant she had seven and a half hours to kill. She texted back, “That works, want to meet at the lake?”
Their response came immediately. “Works for me!” Then there was silence. And her fingers itched with something to do. So she picked her phone back up to see if anyone else had messaged her. Nothing. Classic. So she opened her social media apps without even meaning to, just to fill the time and drool over those who didn’t struggle with figuring out how the front door worked and where to go. Those who knew how to go enjoy new experiences instead of her who knew how to dream about them.
Chapter 3
It had been two hours since her friend had texted her. She thought about going to the store but wanted to make sure that there was plenty of time for her to get lunch and get ready for the walk as if five hours were only minutes. So, she had taken up residency on her couch. She thought about laying outside, but she didn’t want to be sweaty in case the adrenaline hit and she found herself perched in her car. Her brain was full of many twists and turns, it required her thoughts to line up and make it through on the correct path to execute something without pushback. And just as she was about to give up hope on finding that path, her legs were moving her over to her closet, her fingers were taking hold of her shoes that her feet were now dressed in and her keys sang a song as her body moved her closer to the door where she opened and closed it; locking it from the other side. She had done it. Her brain had numbed and she had broken free of her self-induced hideout.
“Well, good morning dear.” Her neighbor, an elderly woman, called to her while watering her beautifully lush garden.
“Good morning, your garden is looking lovely as always.” She walked down her driveway a few paces. Relaxing her shoulders a bit.
“Why thank you. And what are you up to this morning all alone?” She said innocently. Love the kick in the gut, always honest elders keeping us humble and free from nonsense. It’s like a warm hug. And it was times like these that she wished she had a dog. No one ever questioned someone who had a dog, and it was harder to feel like someone was doing something alone when they had the companionship of said companion. It’s not that she didn’t like dogs, but she didn’t want to deal with all that came with having one. She wished she could simply borrow one when she went to do something solo.
“Oh, I don’t know yet. I might head to a coffee shop and read or pick up some groceries. We’ll see” She shrugged and adjusted her canvas bag on her shoulder.
“Well doesn’t that sound lovely, you enjoy now.” Her neighbor turned off her hose and waved, turning to walk back to her little white farm-style house decorated by early fall flowers.
“Have a great day!” She waved and yelled over her shoulder as she turned to walk to her car.
Chapter 4
She sat, latte in hand, book open on the table. People bustled around her as she tried to stay focused on the pages before her. She felt out of place but simultaneously was thrilled that she was out of her home and among those who she envied because they looked like they had fascinating lives. She was now one of those people, at least to those observing her sitting alone sipping a coffee and reading about people whose worlds are what we pine for. She did it. She made it out. She pushed herself to fill the remaining moments until a purpose was handed to her in the form of a walk with a friend. She loved being out seeing and experiencing the world, but she was also a homebody who dreaded the idea more than the execution. Her friends all knew her excuses that she would muster up by heart; meaning she typically couldn’t hide from them which was a major help, but man. It took willpower and strength when she had no one relying on her but her. It wasn’t so much that she was lazy, but feeling alone and lack of confidence knocked softly on her mind while the world beckoned. It was a toss-up who would win. Instead of simply throwing her hair out of her tower to then cascade down it singing, she paced back and forth like a wild animal contemplating whether she should pounce. But, at some point, she needed to stop waiting for others and waiting for adventures to fall at her feet. To stop looking and drooling over those who take the initiative and go out there and live their best life. Because life waits for no one. Like Hannah Montana once said, “Life is what you make it, so let’s make it rock.”
Chapter 5
I can relate with this character's story. I overthink all the time, but man the gears start moving when it comes to finding something to do when I have no one to do anything with… which happens often. However, once I push myself and take on what life has to offer, I always end up enjoying myself. It is a skill that needs to be trained like anything, and it can uproot so many amazing unpredicted circumstances. I need to remember not to listen to my excuses, like my friends, because life is so much more fun when we live it.
If you are a homebody like me and love being at home, there is nothing wrong with that. But, too much of anything can become a bad thing. Anyyy wayyy, I hope you all had a great week as always! Stepping into the weekend don’t forget to share the Allie-Way with someone, follow on Instagram to see my adventures. Let me know if you are also like me in the comments, and subscribe! Thanks for reading Allie-cats.
Dru Allie
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