When I grow up...

But work is life

The top question everyone constantly asks is what do you do or the infamous, "what would you like to do when you grow up?" The questions that moms, dads, friends, and teachers alike ask. It’s a fair question and a great conversation opener and for a good many of you, answering that question, comes with ease. The others leftover are maybe able to answer the question at hand, but are left once again thinking quietly to themselves about where they want to go or what they actually want to do. It’s a common and justifiable thought. In a world where jobs are a huge focal point in our life, there is no drawing to want to do something that isn’t enjoyable. In today’s world there is such a large focus on “making it” and by the time you are supposed to graduate you should have your life together. You should know what you want to do and if that doesn’t work for you well then, make up something! Put your passion into a high-class business. If you are a person who is able to do that, then man, I applaud you! But, if you aren’t one of those people, that's ok too. Sometimes the best way to figure out a passion or a career is to try random things out. It’s like trying on jeans; if you try on a different pair of jeans that are all the same size from different stores the chances are you're going to try on a few pairs before you find the ones that are the right fit. And sometimes, for some people, it takes a little longer… like all my fellow long-legged people who struggle with finding long enough jeans. Now let me be clear, I’m not writing a “how-to”. This isn’t me trying to necessarily encourage you to quit your job and try something new, if this inspires that, fantastic, but otherwise, for everyone else who is less enthusiastic and clearly either too deep into their job or still playing it safe, this is a post about today's crazy push for success and the crazy stress of being young and lost.

Personally

Let me explain where I am coming from. I started dancing when I was three and wanted to be a Ballerina. As I got older I wasn’t as sure, so I started thinking I wanted to be an art teacher, but never

stopped dancing. A little while later, I started to think of dance pretty seriously again. In high school that as my life! Every summer I would do a summer intensive which was 3-5 weeks of dancing all day every day. I did a few at Colorado Ballet and I did one at Boston Ballet. I went to the Colorado Ballet Academy and my mom or dad would drive me an hour every night and Saturday to Denver then wait for me anywhere from 1-3 hours for me to finish. I endured some intense teachers, I had some lead roles and dealt with many injuries, but dance was my life. If I had a night off I would find myself in the gym working on leg extensions and cardio. But even with all that I was confused because I found myself only wanting to be a dance teacher. I had so many questions about why I wasn’t trying to join a company, and honestly I didn’t know. I couldn’t figure it out… was it fear… or did I actually just want to teach? So instead of auditioning for a company after I graduated, I took a gap year and was a preschool teacher's aid and loved it! Then I decided to attend a school and chose one that was both a Christian school and offered a dance degree. Ok, sorry, I know I’m being much too detailed, I’ll try and just hit the highlights. Went to school as a dance management major and loved the active classes and my amazing friends that I met, but something seemed to switch and I began to question my major. It felt like suddenly dancing became more about me criticizing myself (which every dancer does), but to the point of I hated watching myself dance and got in my head. I couldn't let myself dance the choreography, but I let the choreography rule the dance (there is a difference trust me). My whole world turned, I went from knowing what I wanted to do with my life and spending countless hours and money to being very confused. I mean, how could I change directions after all that? But the next semester I prayed and ended up switching to elementary education, which was great! I figured I love kids! I love teaching! And I was inspired by my dance teacher from Kauai who didn't only look at us as her students, but as her responsibility to look after and help us grow to be strong, confident, smart young people. As well as my school teacher… love you, mom! Anyway, that lasted a semester. Not because I didn’t love it, but because you need to appreciate school to teach school and my philosophy is, school isn’t for everyone. I left the university with my parent’s full support and moved back home to Kauai and worked as a barista for a year and then began working for my dad’s finance and leasing company. It is a great job and I have learned and am learning so much! However, I still wake up and wonder what I want to do when I grow up. I have so many thoughts but nothing pulling me in a direction. I know it is normal for people to struggle with that, but who doesn’t want to know exactly what they want to do and already be successful doing it?

2022 mindset

Today’s world seems like everyone says the same thing, that the world moves so fast and part of the reason is…we are the ones making it move faster. Society has pushed the fast pace, do more, see more, never have a moment without taking something in, and has pushed that into the work zone. It seems as if the expectation for today's young people is that they need to have their life figured out and on the path to success and have a lot of money by the time they take off the cap and gown. It’s almost as if, if you don’t have a plan then you're doomed because you should already not only know what you're doing, but already be on the grind making a ton of money. The truth is, a lot of people have no idea what they want or where they are going and frankly, sometimes the best things take time. Sometimes I feel discontent not knowing what my perfect job is and not already being at the top and making the money that I want, but the reality is, life isn’t a movie. It’s fascinating to me that there are so many platforms where you are invited into thousands of different people's lives and you think that you see everything and know what's going on and you see the life that they have and ask, why am I not there yet? At those times I try to remember that I am in a very different stage of my life than they are whether that be because of age or location or even personality. You can’t blink yourself into the life you want. I don’t see the work, long nights, tears, anything that went into someone else's life. Taking things slow and knowing that there is time to find the right fit is a sometimes easier said than done mindset but also relaxing. I spent my life thinking I was going to be one thing and maybe I still will, but I know that I have time to find the perfect pair of jeans. As long as I am enjoying what I am doing and learning, meeting new people, and making sure I am able to pay the rent, then I can’t be harming my future self any. But if you try something and it isn’t doing anything for you, maybe find a good after-work hobby that’ll keep you interested until you secure your “right” job or maybe jump ship and try something new (words my dad always encourages us with). But take life a day at a time, don’t feel as if you need to rush to the finish line. This is life, there is a lot to do between the start and the finish.

Thank you for reading my random thoughts of the week. If you need to work, might as well try and make some money, but mostly, find something you enjoy doing. Along with that, it’s ok to not know what you want to do yet. Don’t let society push you into feeling inadequate for living in the unknown. All we can do is our best. Thanks for reading, Allie-cat’s! We’ll see, maybe I’ll jump on a tangent about hobbies at some point, that might be interesting. Anyway, go out and enjoy making some mon…memories. I’m going to be doing the same.

-Dru Allie