Like all say, as the earth reaches another milestone of walking around the sun, it is a shock that we are almost to Christmas. 365 days feel as though they are continually skipping forward quicker than we have permitted. But, regardless, the year is almost to its end credits. So how about a recap of the year? This has been a year of ups and downs, good days and bad days, big accomplishments and small ones. Although some days may seem insignificant, every day of the year holds a valuable addition to our overall scheme of life. Many days help with complex emotions and other days hold beautiful sights. Although some days may seem as though they repeat, our conversations, actions, emotions, and sunsets will evolve and paint new pictures.
1 - 3
This year started with many changes. I started a new job, stepping beyond my comfort zone and learning a field that overwhelmed my thoughts. I remodeled and moved into a new home that is a place of comfort and safety. Propelling us further, spring days were filled with golden sunsets, warm days covered in sand and ocean, time with friends, moments spent practicing my surfing skills, and most importantly, The Allie-Way took form. What a learning, stretching, growing, self-reflecting, and motivating achievement. I always knew I wanted to write and having this amazing opportunity has been such a rewarding outlet to be able to learn more about myself and grow as a person and community. Because of my blog, I have tried my best to be as transparent as I can, sharing my thoughts and experiences to hopefully inspire and help others. So, as the first months of the year carried on, every day was filled with moments of beauty and fun, however, there were emotions behind the pictures coated in smiles. As I have mentioned, I have depression and anxiety and there are days when it will infiltrate every emotion and action I deliver. It will consume me. But, the hardest part of the first three months was growing as an individual. Shuffling through the growing pains of a new job and my sister and her new husband adding me into a mix that had been the two of us for so long. In every situation, God and time become superior to duct tape. Those first three months I began my journey of learning to take control of my depression and anxiety.
4 - 6
Like the last three months, it had salt, sand, friends, and surprises. My emotions decided to be kind and joy was able to be the first responder. I found out I was going to be an aunt, which came as a beautiful and exciting surprise. Many days were spent with kids being able to enjoy the beginning of summer. Birthdays were celebrated and trips were taken. I was able to visit friends who grace the state of Oklahoma with their presence. That trip inspired the post, “Hello & Goodbye…” talking about what it’s like to have friends long distance. I began to pick up my paintbrush again and rediscover the joy that art can share. Those were the months that I began to push myself to leap out of my normal habits. To say yes and creep out of the hole that I so desperately try to hide in despite the feelings of loneliness. I will express, however, it is a challenge to find a balance between saying no to something that you don’t want to do and something that you either don’t feel up to doing or are afraid to do. It is a learning ground that I feel we will constantly battle with. But, it is important to know that there is so much availability behind the word no, despite pushback and prodding. And at the same time to learn to be self-aware of when we say the word no to be self-sabotaging. Overall the sun shone through a few dark clouds those months, but the year began to look up.
7 - 9
We partied it up as a group of three (my sister, brother-in-law, and I) for the Fourth of July complete with sparklers and watermelon. And the party continued by embarking on yet another adventure. We spent moments surrounded by glorious mountains welcoming us to Colorado where we visited family. Dressed up for a wedding, made friends with wildlife, and camped next to a stream that was guarded by giant knights coated in pine needles. In times like those, it causes one's eyes and mind to truly appreciate the world that we live in. Each view is individual. Telling new stories with each new gust of wind. Every leaf holds a different perspective and evolves with every breath of fresh air that it releases. The sky somehow tells a different story, while still being the same. And the air shares a new texture. That trip gave new memories to a place already full of so many memories and traditions. But, the months move on. Following the trip, times of once again learning my role in my own life moved in. Friends visited, adventures took place, and plans were finalized. In September our passports entered the scene and we were on our way to France. We concluded the month taking residency among the fairytales by creating our own in a chateau in the center of France. The last days of the trip were spent with unrealistic views of the swiss alps and Zurich.
10 - 12
October found its way in stealth mode and the next two months were filled with sunset walks to clear my head, moments with friends celebrating different life events and holidays, and life became yet another sparring match experience to assist self-growth. No matter what, we live amongst a line chart where circumstances and feelings can become out of our control leaving us to feel uprooted and without a steering wheel, but with every low, there comes a high. October was a continuation of my high. November and December, although beautiful and laced with mythical wonders in memories, traditions, and charm, can also be a disguise of feelings that we hide to keep the seasons merry. And, like others, I am no different. Each individual might deal with their struggles or sadness in what we all call “the best time of year” and shield it from the world around them. That is common and normal. But, as the year wraps up and little blessings flood the world it is important to remember that like the year, our lives go through different seasons. Some may be boring, eventful, exciting, hard, lonely, sprinkled in natural wonder, confusing, and rewarding. Each new day brings something special. I won’t lie, December has been a hard month, unlike my normal “hit the wall depression”, I have felt it be a sore muscle that I pretend doesn't exist. But, difficult situations cause us to work to improve, explore new options, and fight to find an up. December is full of so many wonderful experiences, sights, smells, emotions, kindness, and generosity. It is a time for friends, family, and even time for ourselves to continue to be thankful. This season is full of blessings and an exciting one that my family is soon to be gifted is my nephew! My sister is due any second. With every down comes an up.
The year Isn’t Over Yet
We are coming up to our yearly conclusion, but we still have time to think back and begin to prepare ourselves for what is to come. Life is a gift as well as a blessing. I will admit that at moments it can feel as though the word blessing became a little blurred, but it is still there. My year was full of memories that were added to the vault and goals that will continue. It has been a year of growth, adventures, and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. I am thankful for each trial and the opportunity to share my experiences, hopefully helping someone feel less alone in their thinking. I am beyond thankful for everyone who reads, shares, encourages, prays for, and distributes ideas for this blog. I’m excited to see how the year wraps up.
I meant to give a recap of my year with swift flashcards, but you got the extended version. Our years go quickly, it is important to make the most out of the time we are given and grow and learn from the ups and downs that will constantly define our moments. I hope you can reflect on your past year with fond memories and see how God has taken the wheel when we have felt our lowest. Hope you all enjoyed this past week. Don’t forget to subscribe to be the first to receive each new post, share The Allie-Way with someone, and follow along on Instagram (@TheAllie.Way). I hope you all have an amazing weekend and Merry Christmas.
Dru Allie
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